


Everlasting Friendship? Nah...

by Lady_Darkness



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angry Bucky Barnes, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, M/M, Not A Fix-It, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), That ending was complete rubbish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 17:09:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20362078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Darkness/pseuds/Lady_Darkness
Summary: Set right after Steve passes the shield to Sam in Endgame. Bucky has a few things to say.





	Everlasting Friendship? Nah...

**Author's Note:**

> Like many others, I am deeply disappointed with how the writers decided to end Steve's arc. I felt they skipped over his lifelong friendship with Bucky as well as the relationships he had built with the other Avengers from the time he got out of the ice. The ending didn't make sense on so many levels, and I'm still trying to make sense out of it.

The soft afternoon light illuminated the trees in a most beautiful way. If Bucky hadn’t known any better, he’d have thought the world was finally at peace. Thanos was destroyed, at a great cost, but the survivors had been able to start their new lives. All that was left was getting the stones back to their original time period so time could heal, as well as all of their hearts. The shock couldn’t have been greater when he didn’t see Steve appear on the platform after five seconds, but it quickly wore off when he looked up and saw who was sitting a bit further.

Bucky watched the old man on the bench with a mix of confusion and sadness. Sure, part of him had known what Steve had been planning, but he’d had faith in their friendship, knowing Steve would come back for him, for all of them. Now he was back, but this was not Steve. He motioned Sam to go to him first, to see what he had to say. He watched Sam as he went over and stood next to Steve. The exchange was brief, and Bucky didn’t hear what was said, but he saw Steve handing over the shield to the younger man. A mix of anger and pride came over him. Sam was worthy, always had been, in spite of the differences between them. He would make a fine protector of the planet and a great leader. A small smile formed on his lips as Sam made his way back to him, but the heat rising up from his belly was too strong to contain. 

Bucky grasped Sam’s arm, biting back a stinging remark about flying superheroes being careful with a shield. This was not the time, as Sam was obviously still processing what had just happened. When he saw his friend’s expression, he squeezed Sam’s arm gently.

“If there’s anyone worthy of the shield, it’s you, Sam. You deserve this honour.” His blessing wasn’t needed, but the younger man’s genuine smile proved that it had been more than welcome. 

“Thanks, man,” Sam said, his voice still somewhat unsteady, but his smile said it all. 

Swallowing back a few tears, Bucky made his way past Sam, to where Steve was still sitting on the bench. 

Bucky watched Steve, not his Steve, but the old man his friend had become in under a minute, with sadness in his heart. For once in his lifetime, his thoughts turned to himself, and he found himself lacking. He hadn’t been enough, he hadn’t been worthy, but that came as no surprise to him and he let go of that feeling as soon as he’d acknowledged it. 

The anger he felt towards the frail man now was strictly on behalf of their friends, Tony’s memory and most of all Natasha’s. She had been on Steve’s case to move on from the past, even when all seemed lost and they were nothing but fugitives, trying to gain back what they had lost after the Accords and the airport fight. Whenever Steve had skyped him in Wakanda, Nat had been in the background, either feeding them useful information or teasing them about their feelings for one another. They hadn’t been ready to admit to them then, but now there was no point anymore.  
Bucky was also pretty sure that Tony, who had been pushing Steve to try living for a change, certainly hadn’t meant for him to run away from his friends and the life he had managed to build since being brought back from the ice. Tony, Iron Man, had given his life for the world, knowing that he left behind a grieving family, and a daughter he’d never see grow up. Bucky hadn’t known Tony that well, and their relationship had been strained to say the least, but his actions during that last battle and the effort he’d made to figure out time travel so all of them could be saved, had told him everything he needed to know about the man. Truth be told, he liked what he had discovered about Tony in the last few days a whole lot more than what he had learned from Steve in the few minutes he had been away.

Bucky looked at old Steve sitting there peacefully and lowered himself down next to him. His head was spinning as he took in the grey hair, the lines in that face he’d once loved so deeply and the tentative smile he didn’t want to see, or respond to. He couldn’t help but send a small and tender smile Steve’s way, but it didn’t reach his eyes. The pain on his face was visible to whoever bothered to look, but since no one ever did, he figured he was safe. 

“Buck…,” Steve started, but Bucky shook his head.

“Don’t…,” he lifted a finger to Steve’s lips and let it rest for a fraction of a second, “Let’s enjoy the silence for a bit, like we used to back in Brooklyn, remember?” he replied in a soft voice. There was a lot he wanted to say to Steve, but this wasn’t the time, not yet. He wanted to savour the last few moments of peace he would know for a long while.

During a long time, the two men sat on the bench, not one word spoken, and neither man even glanced in the other’s direction. When he was done with the silence and false peace it offered, Bucky took a good look at his friend, or better, the man who used to be his friend.

“Why, Steve? Just tell me why you did it, why you left.” Bucky deliberately kept his voice even, not wanting for Steve to see right through him. He couldn’t allow his anger to roam free, not yet. 

“I don’t know, Buck. When all the stones were back in their right places, I just felt I had to go back to her. My life felt so empty without her, it has never been complete I guess. Ever since I woke up, I was a shell of the man I used to be, and Peggy was the missing piece of my heart, the one that made me tick. So I went back to where she lost me, and I lost her. We lived the lives we were supposed to live. Tony was always on my case to go and live a little, and that is what I did. I chose me, us, for once in my life.” Steve replied, with no trace of shame or regret. His eyes rested on Bucky, still bright blue and as honest as they had ever been. 

“So you went and changed the timeline, just because you missed Peggy?” 

Bucky could barely keep himself together at this point. Here was this man, the one he’d thought was his best friend till the end of the line, the one he knew loved him once, and now he didn’t recognize him. He didn’t see the young, idealistic boy in this old and settled man. A man who had gladly let the world burn, just to stay with a woman he’d barely known the first time around? His heart lurched and then broke into a million pieces as the realization hit. This old man was not his friend, not anymore. In fact, he could barely stand to be near Steve, it felt all wrong. He jumped up, ignoring Steve’s questioning look, and walked away in the same direction Sam had gone a while ago. 

Bucky heard Steve call after him, but he ignored him. One day, he might come back to hear the rest of the story, but for now, he didn’t care one bit. He needed to get away, to be alone again, like he would be for the rest of his natural life. 

Sam was waiting for him by the bushes, the shield on his back, looking like a true protector of the planet. His eyes narrowed as he saw Bucky walk back in his direction, his mouth drawn and his eyes nearly overflowing with unshed tears. There hadn’t been much love lost between the two of them at the start, but ever since being trapped in the soul stone together, Sam had learned to respect and understand Bucky. His heart went out to the man who had obviously lost his best friend, his brother, in an incomprehensible decision, and now was left with nothing. He took one step forward and caught Bucky in a one-armed hug.

“You have us, man. You’re not alone,” he whispered, making a mental note of getting Bucky to attend one of his VA meetings in the future. This time, whatever happened, Bucky would have at least one friend to stand by him on the road to recovery.


End file.
